Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I have had an epiphany..

I went to the doctor on Friday, May 31st, to have my birth control method removed. It was a Mirena, and it was time for it to be removed because it was almost 5 years old. I was expecting a lot of pain, but that didn't happen.

My epiphany came when I actually looked at the scale that they weighed me with when I was in the nurse's office getting checked in for my appointment. In the past few years, I have managed to get the doctor's offices not to weigh me because I just didn't want to see what I knew was going on. Denial is a very large pink elephant in the room in my case. I suppose I thought if I didn't see the numbers, I could continue to convince myself that I had only gained a little bit back.

Oh..I can't even begin to express all of the feelings that went through my brain at that moment. I am still feeling these emotions. That morning I felt betrayed, by myself, which is a bad feeling to have, ya know? I was hurt. I wanted to cry, too. I was mad as hell, and I felt sick to my stomach all at the same time.

Dr. Phil, among others, would say that in order to change anything that you do not like about your life or situation, you have to bring it to the front of your mind, acknowledge whatever it is, and then take the steps necessary to change it. This means that I have to admit to myself, if no one else, that I have managed to gain quite a bit of the weight that I originally lost back. Saying that out loud or writing it in this blog satisfies that requirement, and it makes me pure sick..


I suppose for this post to make any sense, I should mention a bit of my history. I have always been morbidly obese to super-morbidly obese. I got that way by compulsively overeating since I was around the age of 10. If I felt any emotion, no matter what it was, I would eat myself into oblivion. Chocolate cakes, macaroni and cheese, sandwiches that were piled with meats and cheeses, biscuits and gravy, yadda..yadda.. My BMI has been as high as in the 70s range. That was in 2001. 
This picture was taken on our wedding day, obviously.. :) That was on November 10, 2001. I weighed 454 pounds that day, and I stand 5 feet 9 inches tall. My wedding dress weighed about 25 pounds, so it was a real struggle to just move slowly, much less walk with any confidence.
Here is a closeup, and it also happens to be my favorite wedding photo:


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This next picture was taken in August of 2002 at a party.

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Here is another picture that shows how much I lost just a wee bit better:
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In the picture above, I had lost 187 pounds. I used to wear that skirt so much! It was the prettiest skirt that I had ever owned. I was at an associate's house who was going to alter that skirt to fit me better. I was quite excited to see that picture, too. It really made it something real, ya know? I weighed 271. I had weight loss surgery. If you would like to know more, please visit:


http://www.duodenalswitch.com/patients/cia/cia.html



This link will take you to my patient page, as well as my story prior to weight loss surgery. I had the first part of a duodenal switch, which at that time was called the vertical gastroplasty. The only part that was altered was my stomach. The concept was to remove 2/3 of my existing stomach (the part that literally grows when I would overeat), making it into a banana-shaped stomach, so that I would lose at least 100 pounds. That weight loss would enable the surgeon to get to my organs better with the laparoscopic tools needed to do the rest of the surgery. Then I was supposed to come back and have the 2nd part of the surgery, which would help the rest of the 254 pounds that I needed to lose come off. With the malabsorption part of the surgery, I would only absorb 60% of the protein I ate, and 30% of the fats and carbs that I ate. Of course, I will have to take vitamins for the rest of my life and deal with stinky poop.. Yet, I haven't even known poop to smell like roses.. :) Still, I never went back for the 2nd part because I thought that the weight was steadily coming off, so I thought that I didn't need to do the 2nd part, the malabsorption part because it was steadily coming off and I wasn't gaining it back! I kept the weight off for a little over 2 1/2 years. In the last couple of years, the weight has slowly started to creep back on. At the time of my surgery, there were no stats available on the VG because it was a new concept for super morbidly obese patients that had a huge stomach. The doctors that were doing this 2 part procedure were basically test driving it to see if it was a viable option. While this was going on, stats were being comprised of the patients who were having it done this way.

Sadly, staying rooted in denial did nothing to make me realize how very much it was back until Friday in the doctor's office. Frankly, I am scared out of my freakin mind.. Now, I can get on with this first part of my epiphany..


On Thursday morning, May 30th, I had a conversation with a stranger at my dog groomer's the other day when I took Nikki Blue in for her first bath. This woman just struck up a conversation with me, and she told me that I needed to bless myself.. She said that I needed to take all of the energy that I put in my animals and everyone around me, and redirect it to myself and bless myself.. It was a little spooky, because when she said this to me, she did not know squat about me, or who I was in the least.

Her name is Kristie.. She was standing in line behind me dropping off her Shih Tzu for grooming as well. Both of our pups were black and white.. along with other colors that they had in common.. I thought it was kind of cool..


As I turned to leave the groomer's, she started saying things to me as if she had known me all of my life. Get that I had never seen her before in my life..She was telling me all sorts of things that no one would have known about me if I didn't tell the information to her. She told me that God was telling her this information.. and she proceeded to say other things that she would not have known without some sort of inside information.

Honestly, all I heard was that I needed to bless myself.. I asked her how it was exactly that I was supposed to do that. I told her that I have had several friends that have told me something similar to that, yet no one told me how I was supposed to do it.. She joined those friends and told me that I knew what I needed to do.. So, I got a hair across my butt and told her that no, she was wrong.. I didn't know how to do that.. I had no clue.. Because if I did know that, wouldn't I have done it already? She still didn't give me specifics.. and I left the groomer's office with just a real question in my head and the wonderment of how she knew this information unless it really was God speaking through her. How weird I thought, but I still got chills thinking about it..


Okay, back to the morning in my doctor's office and the scale.. The sickness that I felt earlier slowly turned to anger and then rage before my hubby got home. I admitted my weight gain to myself first, because self-realization is the first step to change, and then when my husband came home, I sat him down to admit how very depressed that I have been for such a long time.. I admitted how much that I would compulsively overeat when I am sad and/or depressed. I admitted that I had been sad and/or pissed off for the last several months, if not years. I admitted how when I smoke, I did it primarily to piss him off.. I admitted that I was SICK of living like this, and that it was going to stop right now.. that night..
And then..I told him that I was done..
I told him that I was not going to beg him to read the book that I mentioned by Harville Hendrix.. I told him that I was not going to nag him to do what he knew needed to be done around the house. I told him that I was going to order my larger bike seat, he was going to put it on my brand new bike in the basement, he was going to get my bike upstairs and make it a stationary one for the time being.. and I was going to lose this weight.. I told him that I refused to get back to my preoperative weight. I told him he would be more than welcome to join me in these efforts, or he could continue to wallow in the fear of the change that he refuses to make..I told him that he needed to enjoy the sweet stuff that is in our house, because I am not wired in such a way to just throw it all away and take that financial hit well.. So, I told him that I would cook it.. but that once that was gone.. that this woman would not bring any more of it into this house. I told him that I knew that if I bring the sweets in this house, that I will eat them. I told him that the only way that I would be successful in this effort was to completely obliterate them from the home..

I told him that if it meant that he would have a mood because he was not getting his sweet fix, then so be it. I told him that he could keep that snit to himself, because I didn't want to deal with it once this starts.

I told him that if he wanted to have childish temper tantrums because he doesn't get his sweet fix each day, then he was going to have them frequently. I told him that I did not want to hear it, and I would not let it effect my resolve. I told him he was going to eat more vegetables, fish, chicken, salads, etc..

I told him that if I did make something sweet like a cake or cheesecake, then I would slice it into individual pieces, freeze them, and then when he wanted something sweet he could thaw it out 1 piece at a time instead of eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

He admitted that he did not like the weight that he had gained either. Which will help me with my own resolve. For the most part, I have to accept responsibility for this weight gain that both of us have presently because I cooked all of the high-fat foods. I not only cooked the foods, I ate them as well. I cooked foods very late at night and then went to sleep. I didn't do the necessary exercise to combat the weight. I did it because I wanted to please my new husband, and I knew that he liked my cooking.

When he came to the US, he did not have excess weight on his frame. Over the last few years, he has went from a 36 waist to a 42 waist, an XL shirt to an XXL, and we won't even get into what size increases I have had. It is disgusting. I have admitted this fact to myself, so it is not staying in the denial side of my brain.

I also spoke of many other things that evening. I found out that he had not read one page, let alone a chapter, in Getting the Love That You Want like he had promised me he would 4 weeks or so ago. When I asked him why he hadn't done what he promised, his response was that he was playing his computer games instead. As I was already pissed off, it wasn't a huge stretch to say things to him that he never expected to come out of my mouth.

I told him that there was a reason why he married me. I told him that there was some trait in me that he needed to get from his primary caretaker, that he did not get in his childhood. His primary caretaker was his mom. I said that I did not know what it was exactly that he needed to heal from his childhood, but then there is so much that I don't know about my husband.

He told me that one of the things that he had trouble with where his mom was concerned was her inability to make a decision about anything. She is exasperating in that way, I will admit.. She will throw out a suggestion, then take it back..then suggest something entirely different, and then take that back too. It can drive anyone crazy and most especially her son and my hubby, who is one that craves structure and consistency.

So, he said that he knew that I was assertive, and that if I made up my mind to do something I would move heaven and earth to make it happen. He said that it took a lot to get me to that place, but once I do reach that place I am very determined.
He said that he was glad that I was at this point about my weight, because that meant that he would also lose weight. He will follow my lead if he sees me doing it consistently. He has always done that. If I am cleaning up, he may sit on the couch for a while, but he will eventually get up and start helping me do the tasks at hand. The bad thing is that once this is started, I won't be able to have a slack day, because just as soon as I do..he will think that he has license to slack off, too.

He said that if I did not have this assertiveness, we would not have our own home now, we would not have the dogs that bring both of us joy, we would not have moved into our first apartment, and we would not have any sort of life that remotely resembled a good one. He said that he knew he would still be living in the Netherlands with his parents trying to finish college and get his Masters.. He likes living status quo. He hates change. In the past, I have had to literally drag him kicking and screaming into something new. Once he gets there, he is glad that I made it happen.. but if he had to jump through all of the hoops that I jumped through to make all of this happen, he would not have done it.

Yet I still wonder what other traits his mom had that he sees in me as well. I hope that over the next few weeks, more of this will come to light. The 2 of us are polar opposites. She is very skinny and fit.. I am not. She has more energy than 4 little kids on a summer's day. LOLOL.. She wears me out just watching her.. :)

When I finished this discussion with him, I was still pissed off. I almost burned our dinner, too! I finished cooking it, called him to the kitchen for his dinner.. and then I left the room. When I left the room, he was curled in a fetal position, crying..on the sofa.

For the first time in our lives together, I left the room and I did not pay attention to him. The next morning, he was reading the book. Who knew that having a discussion this way would have caused him to do what he told me he would do?

Saturday, April 26, 2008

It has been an interesting April, part 2

Good morning to you!

This blog entry comes from a response that I made to a post that someone wrote on the previous blog entry. I really felt that it needs to be a main entry, so I edited it a little bit to make some sort of sense, and I am sending it out as a main entry. If you are interested in reading the original response, please click on the comment section on my April 16, 2008 entry. (I hope that I got that date right.. It is the first one in April in any case) As always, I invite my readers comments!

I really like blogging a lot. I am glad that someone is enjoying what I have to say. I enjoy reading people's responses on the rare occasion that someone does actually leave a comment. That is what makes blogging interesting for me.

I can only hope that I will get somewhere in this journey and by doing so, I will find that I am able to heal some really old wounds. Wounds that my husband did not put there.

I think what I have been writing about recently, in terms of my marriage, has been going on a lot longer than just lately, and I have just been numb to it all. I really don't know what triggered this happening right now, but it has been going on since February, 2008. Something just opened up and all of this stuff came pouring out at first, and it has continued in little spurts since then.

I am not so sure that I am ready for this, but I have to get a little deeper into it before I can make that conscious choice to either deal with it or stuff it and continue on as before. I don't think that the stuffing it choice will be a viable one for me to make, because to continue to do that does not validate my feelings, needs, or desires. I would continue to placate him at the loss of my own empowerment. I don't believe that I want that any longer.

I have to believe that I can be ME and not lose my marriage or the love of my life in the process..God, that is so scary! This will be a difficult choice for me in the long run, but it is a decision that I must make for my own mental health and clarity..I just have to break out of that rut, ya know?

I must admit that what I am going through currently is nowhere near as bad as the cards that I have been dealt throughout my lifetime. However, believe me when I tell you that I have been through a whole LOT worse than this, which is probably the reason that I have allowed it to go on as long as I have, (7 years). The damage was done to my psyche many years before I ever met my husband.

Unfortunately, he had his share of crap from his parents as well, so we are both trying to climb out of that gaping black hole that is in our hearts. The bad thing is that both of us thought the other could heal those hurts when we chose each other.

I grew up in a very abusive home. Domestic violence was what I saw most of my childhood in the form of my father hurting my mother in some form almost every day.. So, if I look at that and compare that to my current situation, then this is a piece of cake to get through.. We tend to have far more good times than we have the arguments the inevitablly end up with harsh criticisms and hurtful verbal daggers being thrown at each other. My husband is the expert marksman in terms of the verbally abusive daggers he throws. He knows how to hurt me really badly..and the sad thing is that I gave him the ammunition to use against me by sharing my past with him..When we do fight, it is very devasting to both of us in far more ways that either of us realize. This last one started in February. It seems that we will have a few weeks of tranquility between horrid arguments..but we are at least talking about what is going on instead of denying the existence of it. I think that is a good place to start.

It is a blessing that I am not subjected to drug or alcohol abuse. I was subjected to that when I was growing up from my extended family of origin, along with my father and grandfather in the home..My maternal aunt was/is an addict, and she is only 6 years older than I am. She was one of those "flower children" of the 60s, and I don't think that there is a drug on this planet that she has not tried at least once. Lucky for me, I saw the damage it did to her both externally and internally, and my brother and I learned at a very early age that we would not do that irrepairable harm to ourselves. We both decided that the chain of abuse would stop with each of us in our family. Sadly, I have not had any children, and unless we both decide to adopt, I probably will not get a chance to be a mom and show a child how unconditional love feels..My brother has 1 child with a 2nd one on the way. Both my brother and I decided that we would not drink or do drugs ever.

All of that is a very good thing.. but what we both were left with was a seething underlying rage towards our family..I was quite the angry witch for many years, and I was no fun to be around until I had a friend of mine tell me that I was very angry and that it scared her to be in the same room with me sometimes. That happened when I was 26. It still took me about 8 years before I started to really dig into my pain and sort it all out. I say all of this to say that I am not a stranger to an abusive household. I am not a stranger to the adults that I looked up to being in a drug-induced haze.

Unfortunately for me, my drug of choice is food, and I am a compulsive over eater. I eat to hide my emotions.. I also smoke cigarettes, which until recently I did not see as a drug.. I suppose because they are not illegal, I fooled myself into thinking that nicotine was not a drug. Funny what living in denial can do to a girl, isn't it?

Have a great week!
Linda

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

It has been an interesting April..

Good Morning Readers!
I hope this finds you well! I have been having a great April so far. My birthday was last Friday, the 11th. I turned 45. At first, I thought that this birthday would be one that I would dread.. It hasn't been, and I am glad about that.

It has made me begin to assess my life and where it is going. So, that can only be a very good thing. The last blog post that I made at the end of March was very sad, especially when I read it again this morning. It kind of makes my life look bleak, doesn't it?

Someone asked me if we had tried counseling for our marriage.. I failed to answer that question, so let me do that here. My husband is adamantly opposed to having an unfamiliar person, third party, etc.. hear anything about our private life. He does not believe that we need this type of help. I disagree almost as vehemently as he does. I know that I cannot do it all on my own. I can't be the goddess in shining armor that rides in our her white horse to save the day any more than he can be the knight.

What I CAN do is work on myself, my issues, and bring to light the reasons behind why I am doing the self-sabotaging that I am currently guilty of. I can explore why I made the decision to do everything for him to keep him happy and content, so he would not leave, at the expense of myself. There IS an underlying reason, and I believe that the root of it lies in my childhood experiences.. So much has happened in my time on this earth.. I think that it would be ludicrous not to acknowledge that every single painful episode that I have survived did not change my life slate and adversely impact my personality.. I believe that all of them combined totally changed my view of this world and how I relate to any and everyone that crosses my path.

I am not so sure that I relish having to relive all of this again. It was all that I could do to get through it the first time. I do know that I refuse to allow my past to control my present any longer. I am working on becoming more self-aware, but trying to do that without becoming arrogant, cocky, and aggressive will be a challenge for sure.

I know that a successful marriage takes two people. Two people who genuinely love each other, but who also love themselves enough to refuse to accept disrespect of themselves and who believe that they have the right to keep their dignity and mental health intact.

I went through a period like this when I was 36.. I joined a local 12-step group for adult children from dysfunctional families. I joined that group to get a grip on my father and how to deal with his BS that he was pushing big time back then. Very long story.. I went to that group for about 9 months, and when I stopped going, I realized that I did have the right to respect from my father. That was an empowering, sobering thought.. So many lessons learned.. I need to connect to those lessons again and apply them to my current situation.

It will be a really long road.. Does anyone have any comments on how you went through something similar? How do you find your way back to yourself, when it looks like you may have lost the light..

This is going to be SO hard.. Any help, suggestions, or comments would be very much appreciated.. Thank you for reading this blog..

Linda

Monday, March 31, 2008

What happens when you...

Good Morning Ladies

What happens when you give everything you have to those people around you, those that you love (like your husband, etc..) at the expense of your own needs, wants, and desires?

Does it change your life slate? Do you wake up one day and realize that no matter how much of your self you give that it doesn't matter?

I have recently come to the conclusion that is what I have been doing. Realizing how much of myself has been ignored to keep him happy has really bothered me a lot lately. I am still processing why I chose to do this, and right now the current thought is that I am terrified of being alone.

I know that I can make it alone.. I just don't want to any more. I want my marriage to survive.. but I cannot do all by myself. Unfortunately, he has to realize that it isn't all about him.. that I am present in this marriage..

**Sigh** I wonder if he will realize it before I decide that I would rather be alone in my own house, instead of being alone in a house of 2. I always amaze myself what I think about when I sit down to write on my blogger.

Does any of the people reading this blog, (assuming that someone is reading it) feel the same or similar? Even if you are the husband who loses himself to keep your wife happy.. I would love to hear from anyone who has been there.. more importantly.. I would love to learn how you have dealt with this type of situation..
Thank you..
Linda

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Wow, what a week!



Nikita puppy speaks.. :)

My name is official now.. It is Nikita Blue.. :) I picked it out, did you know? My furmommy was listening to a song by somebody on the radio, and everytime I heard Nikita I would bark or yelp..So, my furmommy asked me if I liked the name Nikita.. I looked at her funny, cocked my head to the side, and yelped.. so.. she named me Nikita Blue.. No, I have NO idea where she came up with Blue.. but I am okay with it.. :) Be looking out for new pictures of me, the kitten, and the BIG dog.. The BIG dog growls at me a lot.. scares the poop out of me sometimes.. I guess she is showing me that she is the Alpha..the leader of the pack...but I am so tiny.. why does she have to do that now.. ???


Okay, I am done.. Here is my furmommy..

I thought that would be cute..I don't know for sure now.. :) I just LOVE this little addition to our house. Our family is complete now.. we have 2 dogs and 1 kitten who thinks that she is totally grown. Her name is Moose.. and she is truly been through the ringer in her short 8 1/2 months on the planet.. Here is a picture of her.. I hope it loads here where I want it to show..



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Yay! It showed up! I just have to do HTML code.. Yippee! Anyway, Moose is the kitten that any readers may hear me mention.. Chewi is in a previous post.. so everybody is here now.

I am truly blessed to have all of this love around me. It really makes my days fuller when I have all of this activity and love from my furbabies..There is definitely something cool about seeing them all come running for me when I walk in the door..My little puppy is sleeping right now in her basket. Her crate will be here next week, but for now, she sleeps in a laundry basket with her water bottles taped to it.. What a contraption those are.. :) Who knew?

This week has really been a doozy.. Relatives in the hospital..driving to see them almost 4 hours away.. in a little bitty car that does not make a comfortable ride.. Then seeing my mom's reaction to her sister being so ill.. that was really hard. I am not all that close with my aunt, but I am close with my mom and her other sister, and both of them really had a hard time seeing their sister in ICU. If you are a praying person, and you are reading this blog, please send up a prayer or two for my aunt Sue. The doctors tell us that if she makes it over the next 2 weeks, it will be a miracle. Her kidneys are failing.. she had a pulmonary embolism AND an MI at the same time.. That is what put her in the hospital ICU this past Monday. It really is touch and go.

Thank you for your prayers for this stranger. I can only hope that God hears all of the prayers going up for her, and that she can come out of this to live many more years. She is only 54. That is so young to have all of this happening to you. Just too freakin young..

Okay.. I am done here for now.. please feel free to leave a comment if you want to. It would be nice to see that people are actually reading the ramblings of my world.

Take care and hug someone you love today!
Linda

Monday, March 24, 2008

This past weekend was rough!

Whew! It was a very close call this weekend. I didn't think that I was going to get to keep her, and it was all because Arno did not recall my telling him that I was going to get her this weekend. I told him that on Thursday evening, and apparently he did not pay attention to me..So, when I brought her home on Saturday evening, he was livid that I would just bring a new puppy home and not discuss it with him before I did that. He seemed to forget that I told him that I would not spend a ton of money on ANYTHING without his express knowledge and agreement.

See, I have kept my part of this promise up, even so far as not spending $20 on anything that has not been planned or discussed between the 2 of us. The only variance that happens is at the grocery store. I seem to always remember something that I forgot when I am walking down the aisle in the grocery store. It seems that even as hard as I plan my weekly menus, the ingredients needed, plus any staples that I have ran out of that week.. I always remember something that I forgot to write on the list. Of course, I do not count this in that same promise above. Perhaps I should..Anyway..back to this weekend...

Never mind that I have been telling him since the first part of December that I was actively looking. Never mind that I have been telling him since we had to put Kayla down in 2006 that I really NEEDED a little dog to fill that void that was left by my losing Kayla. You know if you are a pet lover, that when you have to put down a pet, whether it is unexpected or not, there is a HUGE void in your heart.. I knew that Kayla was close to the end of her life for 2 years before I actually had to make the decision..but that did not ease my heartache, nor did it get any easier to come home and not see that little furball dancing for me and wagging her tail madly because I walked in the door.. Am I the only one that gets this?

He admitted yesterday that he did hear me all of these years since putting Kayla down about getting another puppy.. He said that he believed that I knew that I could not get another puppy until Moose was healed and in her forever home. I did know that, and when I placed her the first time, I started looking then. I did not expect those people to bring her back, I believed them when they said that they would get her the care that she needed medically and that they would be okay with her special needs status. Never mind that I was socking money away until I got the money saved up for a new puppy..That took me from December until now to do that socking away a little bit at a time.

We really got into it yesterday morning.. Finally yesterday afternoon, after I had returned to dog to keep peace..he told me that I could go get her back if the lady would sell her to me again. I made him tell me why he was changing his mind after being so dead set against it earlier that day. He told me that he truly believed that I did not mention this to him on Thursday, and he felt lied to and betrayed when I came home with her on Saturday night. He also said that he was upset that I did not involve him in the process of picking her out or anything. I didn't do that because I was pretty sure that he was not all that keen about getting another pet. He is perfectly happy with just Chewi, and he tolerates Moose..

He made me promise that I would not ask him to let me get another dog until one of these two dies..and I could make that promise easily.. so I did.


Then he goes with me to pick her up again, and the breeder (bless her soul) told him in no uncertain terms that she would not give a refund again. She told him that she was not in the breeding for the money, and she knew that I would provide this puppy with a forever home from the first moment I held her. She told him that she knew that I was a rare one, and she believed that I needed to give this baby a home forever. She told him that the money that I was willing to pay for her spoke volumes about that committment. She showed him in the sales contract where it is written in all caps that she will not give a refund under ANY circumstances once the puppy leaves her home. I know that if she did not give a refund, I would not have a legal leg to stand on in court because it is written out and I signed the contract knowing this. I was lucky that she agreed to take her back in the first place. She said that he needed to be SURE that he was okay with this because she would not refund the money again. Yeah, she said that 3 or 4 times before we left that night. So, he promised me that he would not harbor resentment or anger towards me or the puppy, and he said that he was okay with it to her.

I am still a little weary this morning.. but I am a bit encouraged because he held her all the way home..he let her lick him to pieces..and this morning, he was so cute taking him with her down the stairs to go potty.. I told him when we got up that I had to put my hose on before I could go downstairs with him and the dogs.. but when I came into the living room, he had her outside already, and he was playing with Chewi and the puppy.I am glad that he came around..and I do think she will grow on him. I had spent a bit of time with her prior to picking her up.. so I was already attached to her..Heh.. He was toast once he held her all the way home..I knew he would be once he spent a little bit of time with her.

If I am being honest though.. Having a special needs kitty that is well on her way to being whole again, a new puppy, and a somewhat jealous Chew-Chew-Boo is quite taxing on a girl's nerves..

Well, I have to go to work now.. so imagine a drum roll if you will.. I think that I have decided on her official name for her papers..

She is sleeping on her blanket right now, in our biggest laundry basket.. and she is just too precious..Tonight, when he gets home I have to go to PetSmart or Petco and get her some sort of chew toy, some puppy chow, and one of those water bottles that has the little ball in the end. I tried to give her water in a dish last night, and she would not drink it. She would put her face in the water, shake the wet off, and turn away from it.

I have never had a dog do the water bottle thing before. I also have to find a crate for her that fits her through her life until she gets grown. Chewi's cage is way too large for this little munchkin..

Oh, and Moose? she has grow a foot I think since the last pictures a couple of weeks ago. I really think that this chiropractor is working miracles with her. :)

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I've been away too long!



Good Afternoon!

As i sit here having my lunch, I thought that I would write in my blog..If you have ever read my blog, I apologize to you for not writing more frequently. In the months since my last entry, my life has really been interesting.

As usual, I am listening to another audiobook during my breaks. The one that is playing now is called "The Things We Do For Love" by Kristin Hannah.. If you are an avid reader of either physical books or a listener to unabridged audiobooks, you owe it to youself to hear or read this particular author.

She has a new book out called FireFly Lane.. Her blog can be found at: http://www.kristinhannah.com/

On the right side, you will see the link to click for her blog. I have reviewed the book in my eBay reviews and guides section at: http://catalog.ebay.com/_W0QQ_fclsZ1QQ_pidZ63094363QQ_tabZ3QQ_uaidZ14693342

I have become so addicted to audiobooks that I decided about a month or so ago to sell them here: http://stores.ebay.com/AmazingAudiobooks-Softflex-Gloves

If you go to my store to look around, I thank you a lot! I am really trying to get my store up and running, so I thought that selling bestselling audiobooks would bring lovers of audiobooks and the people that offer them together. I totally love listening to them. I hope you will catch the fever too!

The other item that I sell primarily is called Softflex Gloves. Those gloves work small miracle's for people that have possible issues with carpal tunnel syndrome. They could help the wearer to avoid the surgery altogether. Of course, that statement is not a guarantee, but the gloves have helped a lot of folks by their design. I hope that for whatever reason, you will click into my store and/or to Kristin Hannah's website to read her blog!

At the top of this blog page, there is a picture of my new Shih Tzu puppy that will be coming home with me on Easter! Is she not the cutest little thing?

Would you help me try to name her by the picture you have? I have not ever been really good at naming my puppies, but I do know that it is time to get another puppy since I lost Kayla so long ago. I think that I will always miss her, my Kayla, but I need to have another little girl to love and give that forever home to.. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment on my blog..

Thanks so much for reading! My lunch is over, so I gotta go back to work.. I hope to write more blog entries this year.. I also hope to read a few reader comments in the near future! I really DO want to hear what kind of names my reader's could come up with.

I need an "official" regal-type of name for her AKC papers.. but then I need to have a name that we call her normally..

So, readers.. What is the first name that pops into your head when you see the picture of my new puppy? I would love to read your suggestions! Thanks so much!

Linda